I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
