How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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