marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize