I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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