no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
