I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
