Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
