Just fell off a train. Bad.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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