im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
