so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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