So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
