i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
