she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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