if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
