Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I love how my cats smell like pot.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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