There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
