he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
