i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
