How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
