I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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