I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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