woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
