Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
