All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize