Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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