I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
