Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
