i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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