Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
only you would photoshop your dick
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
