No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
