so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
