So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
