I don't think brook has ever known best
home. puking in laundry basket.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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