Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
