So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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