just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
