I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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