ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
The power of my boobs compel you
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
