We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My brain says no but my pants say off.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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