fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
