he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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