We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Dignity is for republicans.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
