so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
