Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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