Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
we're making bets on your personal life
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
