so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
