i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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