Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
