That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
