i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
