best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
