Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry lflo29 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(404): View more from Georgia

He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.

Fav 21 1228 6974
share tweet
(978): View more from Massachusetts

u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour

Fav 10 1637 3547
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(970): View more from Colorado

I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.

Fav 8 3496 1380
share tweet
(817): View more from Texas

All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning

Fav 9 3730 1356
share tweet
(816): View more from Missouri

They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives

Fav 13 5070 1516
share tweet
(443): View more from Maryland

Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.

(410): View more from Maryland

Sounds like a normal friday night

Fav 2 2302 1245
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(817): View more from Texas

Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...

(1-817): View more from Texas

This hangover makes more sense now

Fav 11 2729 861
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(605): View more from South Dakota

Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml

Fav 1 30 65
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(708): View more from Illinois

On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence

Fav 0 34 31
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT