I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
