Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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