I think I died a long time ago.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
