I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
