the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
