And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
