There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
