She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize